ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So many bounce houses so little time
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
