you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
