Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
