My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
