I hate all girls vehemently.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
