so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
