Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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