No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
