operation harelip BJ is a go
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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