Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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