I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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