physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
