why didn't you poke me back
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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