its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
