Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
