they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
