Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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