she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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