I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I could make wine with my vomit
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
