What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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