Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
