I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
