a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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