i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
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