the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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