what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
