so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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