Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
