Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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