then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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