I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
