I'd wear matching sweaters with you
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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