That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
