Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
