Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
