i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
