its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I think I just sharted jello shots
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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