Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
