Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
How external is "for external use only"?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
