Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
