just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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