He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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