I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
