I must be too annoying 4 u.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
