so explain again why im purple
no
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
