when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
