my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
