Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
