her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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