What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
