is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
